Who Are You?

Honestly have no idea what happened or when a sudden influx of serotonin decided to grace my brain but lately everything just seems to be rainbows and unicorns. Maybe it’s the sun or the placement of the moon but I’m so happy I couldn’t give less of a shit as to why it’s all lovely, I’m just glad it is. I hope other people feel like this too. It’s a happy summer. 

It wouldn’t be me if I didn’t get some kind of delirious head waffle to partner this happiness, so I’m gonna unravel the yarn of thought (shocked myself with that metaphor) that is going on in my brain.  

I may be speaking solely on behalf of myself here but I reckon whenever we feel less than great it’s because we feel powerless. It’s so easy to soak up irrelevant bad vibe shite. Bullshit beliefs from people or experiences like “I don’t deserve this” or “this isn’t available to me”. It’s also easy to soak up crappy energies from other people going through a rough time and being a bit Debbie downer-y (we have all been there, no judgement). If we feel a bit bleugh it’s because somehow, somewhere along the line, we’ve lost sight of who we are and what we stand for. 

There’s something about the sun coming out that just seems to remind me who I am. I can do anything I want to. I can either be like “oh I’m alone and I’m broke with a meh job boo hoo” to which no one cares, or I can be like “oh I’m free as fuck and I can do whatever I want”. Glass is half empty or half full, it’s not that you don’t have any options but rather you have too much choice. We have our own lives and we are our own people, we are free. It might not seem like we’re free because we have jobs or ties to people but at the end of the day if you wanted to get up and piss on your desk at work you could 100% do that so you’re always in control. Maybe don’t piss on your desk if you don’t wanna deal with the consequences but stop holding back from doing what’s right is what I’m saying here. 

I read a tweet the other day that was like “it’s only uncomfortable if you resist” and that’s so true of everything. Being in an icky conversation is only uncomfortable if you resist the feelings of discomfort. If you were to simply say “ok I don’t want this bye” to a weirdo at a pub or if you were to choose to take interest in an intense conversation like “hmm what is this person actually saying?” It wouldn’t be uncomfortable. Same applies with literally anything. Procrastination is only uncomfortable because you resist doing what it is you actually want to do. Things that scare you feel uncomfortable because there’s a little fearful nudge inside you holding you back, so stop resisting the fact that you’re scared. ‘Feel the fear and do it anyway’. 

If you want something but feel like it’s unavailable to you right now so it’s making you uncomfortable, don’t resist the discomfort. Shift your focus. You want something that you don’t currently have, how can I get it? What can I do to get it? What blockages do I need to remove? How do I need to work on myself so I can have that? To resist would mean just waiting around and having life pass you by, which is shit by the way. 

It would also mean trying to distract yourself. That too, is a waste of time. You can keep your head elsewhere for as long as you’re doing shit but at the end of the day you’re gonna be lying in bed one night thinking of that thing you want to do that you haven’t just bloody done yet. You don’t have to surrender your desire but just give it a little more welly. Just go with the flow. 

I think that’s everything coming from my head right now but I’m sure I will let you know if otherwise. 

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