The way I understand things, there are four types of relationships that we have with people in life. Aside from the obvious societal construct of ‘family, friend, lover, etc’.
The way I see it, understanding these types of relationships helps me stop putting other people before myself, stops me getting lost in other people, and it stops me getting bent out of shape over a connection that isn’t worth it.
A lot of the time when a relationship ends, we’re upset because it made us reflect on things and question ourselves.
If you don’t understand what you’re feeling and where it’s coming from, it can cause a lot of shit. A lot of confusion and a ripple effect of hurt.
The types of relationships I see come in one of four brackets.
Karmic relationships are ones that we are destined to have, and we’ll likely not know that a relationship is karmic until it ends. They teach us by making us feel bad. They crack us open and force us to reinvent ourselves, they carry us through a chapter of our lives and then they just leave, like a clean-cut goodbye.
Don’t get me wrong, a karmic may try to return to your life or you may stay in some type of contact, but it’s kind of mutually known that nothing will ever be as it was again.
I have spoken before about soul contracts, people come into your life to teach you a lesson of some description.
Once you have lived out whatever sentence you had to experience with a karmic, there will be no going back to how you once felt about them.
When you have become enlightened, once you’ve grown and you’ve realised that you’re on the right path, you will genuinely not miss the karmic or want to rekindle that relationship.
Karmic’s are the type of people that you may message to catch up with one time and the energy is just awkward. Or you attempt to meet up with them to make things work again and you both just know that there’s nothing to talk about and this isn’t a connection worth keeping alive.
From time to time you may experience nostalgia, and you may remember the good times, but you won’t want to go back to them because you know deep down that you are at least somewhat better within yourself now than you were back then. There’s no need to re-learn that lesson. Life keeps moving and the karmic was just like, a part of time.
Once you heal or become conscious, or when you’re on the right path and you’re receptive enough to learn lessons without making mistakes, you will eventually evolve out of the need to have a karmic relationship in your life. Karmic relationships become non-existent when you know who you are, you know your worth, you have your boundaries, and you know that you don’t need to depend on anyone else for your own happiness and stability.
If you realise that a karmic isn’t meant to stay, once they leave your life, you won’t miss them or even have the energy to argue with them. You’ll just miss the role they took on, so your job is to become receptive to a better connection by asking ‘what is it I’m really looking for, and what do I need to do to become a match for that?’.
Soul connections are wonderful.
Soul mates can come in many different forms. Friends, family, pets, lovers. Soul connections are there to support you and give you the friendship and support that you need without judgement or consequence. Soul mates come into your life when you need them, and no matter how long you leave it, things will be the same when you return to it as they were when you last left it. You don’t lose a soul connection, even if you fade out of each other’s lives. You can talk to them about anything free of judgement, they show you an example of how you should be treated, and they show you your worth by being good to you.
You attract soul mates by asking for them and by being a positive enough person to recognise them. You’ll likely meet them as a reward for growing in a direction that you were meant to.
When I was in high school I had an awful time being a part of a group that I didn’t like, who weren’t very nice to other people. I stuck around for ages and it made me so miserable that one day I turned around, gave a swift ‘fuck you’, and went to find some new friends. That same day I met my best friend in the form of a soul connection, and we’re still pals.
A few months ago I was letting myself get treated badly all the time by people, working a job that rarely gave me shifts, not standing up for myself. When I eventually stood up for myself, I got a new job seemingly effortlessly, made some massive changes in my life, and I made a new friend completely out of the blue who has genuinely been the best thing for me.
Soul connections help you grow without being ruthless.
Mirrors are people who give you a better idea of who you are by sharing similarities with you that you dislike.
They’re often family members, but they can be random people that you work with or even friends.
They’re usually people that you can’t just cut out of your life, because if you could, you likely would have.
I’ll use an example. I love my Mum very much, but I share her temper and the questionable coping mechanisms she used to have when she was younger. I also share her open-mindedness and motherly attributes, but I notice them less when we butt heads and argue for 20 minutes about something very minor. I would never break contact with my Mum, but the connection teaches me tolerance and how to be a different, better version of myself.
There was somebody that I used to work with who I didn’t get on well with at all. They were sensitive, they never asked for help when they needed it, and they were aggressively defensive. I couldn’t stand her, which was escalated by the way that I saw parts of myself in her.
That’s when I decided I needed to leave my job and pursue something that was going to get me somewhere, because I didn’t want to be like that anymore.
Mirrors are people who show you the areas of yourself you need to work on improving in order to see the better in people and have an easier life rather than try to change people or fix people.
Finally, there are twin flames.
There is so much information about twin flames. Some say everyone has one, some say not everyone has one, some say that everyone has one, but they’re not always incarnated at the same time.
They’re always romantic connections. Like the ultimate soulmate. But they can be incredibly painful, because all feelings surrounding this person are heightened.
All I can tell you is that twin flames are real, and if you are meant to know about the dynamic at some point in your life, you will. Whether you know the name of the label or not, it’s impossible to ignore the connection.
Twin Flames are like a mix of every connection there is. They’re the yin and yang.
Twin Flames will meet in a random, weird way, and just connect as though they had known each other for years prior. They’re complete strangers- but it will never feel that way.
The two will get to know each other and the connection will be magnetic.
At some point down the line there will likely be a separation, like a runner/chaser kind of dance where someone pulls away and the other person tries to suck them back in.
The connection gets so strong that it’s difficult to experience. It will reflect to you all the things in your life and within yourself that stops you and the other person from being together.
It highlights to you that you’re not satisfied living as you are now.
As you improve your life and embrace the separation, growing within yourself, learning to love and respect yourself, things will improve.
When you have healed and when you’re on the path you’re meant to be on, living the life you’re meant to live, the twin flames will come into union and live the rest of their lives together.
It sounds like a fairy-tale because obviously it’s like the ultimate plot to base movies and stories on. Experiencing it doesn’t always feel like a fairy-tale though, it feels like an electric whirlwind of fuckery and questioning your own sanity.
It’s real though. People won’t get it until they experience it.
If you’re wondering whether or not you’re on the right path, ask yourself ‘are the people in my life helping me to be the best version of myself?’ and if the answer is no, make the changes.
If people are meant to be in your life, they will be, and it doesn’t matter how long of a separation you have had. It doesn’t matter how many people you’ve been with or how many lessons you’ve endured, the universe will find a way.
There is no need to become attached to relationships when you realise that there’s really no need to force them.