It’s a lot harder to deal with triggers in the initial phase when you’re not quite sure what’s hit you. It’s the ego freaking out because the emotions that are coming up have been repressed by the ego for so long- the automatic reaction is to do the same as you always have done; push it down, close your heart, distract yourself. The ego urges you to go into survival mode, but you don’t want to survive anymore you want to live. The automatic reaction isn’t so automatic anymore, you’re too awake to go through the motions. You’re more aware of the consequences. So then you’re just sat there, in the swords energy, having a battle in your own brain between ego and health. You’re navigating through this in a different way now, so you’re lost.
You want to take action but you can’t take action because you don’t know what action to take or how to do it. You don’t even know if that’s the ego speaking or the intuition. You finally surrender. You’re tired. You surrender to yourself.
Then comes the realisation that you’re just clearing and purging. You realise that all has to come up because it’s clearing way for a windfall of abundance in some way of another. You’re resetting, you’re preparing.
Then, you focus on yourself to divert boredom. Throw yourself into mission work, focus on self care, do something to enrich your own life rather than pouring your frustration into the perceived target. Work on the core and the roots rather than the surface level bullshit.
Then, with time, things will unfold and work out. You’re levelling up.