As people, we come into this world and develop cracks of unfulfillment and emptiness. We all have them at some point, no matter where you came from.
What defines you,is whether or not you repair those cracks, fill those cracks with gold and make it something beautiful,or delude yourself into believing that the cracks give you some kind of entitlement. Like the world owes you a favour.
We all have that choice, and though we may choose more than one of those options at some point in life, that choice ultimately defines your character.
Some people will try and fill their emptiness by trying to pour themselves into another person’s heart, like a blending of souls.
Ultimately they will be rejected. You cannot pour from an empty cup.
What we must learn, is that our cracks give us power. If you were raised with nothing and all fortune going against you, that can give you power. Resilience. A story, strength, and willpower that you can take and spin into gold with enough determination.
Excuses will get you no where. Not now. Excuses are not an option for people who are trying to survive.
If you were raised with everything handed to you and a world of privilege but you still feel an underlying sense of unhappiness, shame, or emptiness, that counts for something and that can give you some kind of power. It can give you a voice for others. A thirst for education. A humbling desire to understand.
No matter where you came from, or who you are, or what you do; you can have power.
The only way you will lose your power is by deciding that you are entitled to a free pass of being a shitty person because you have been unfortunate.
Why would anybody give you power, or respect, or position, or anything desirable for as long as you are demanding it? How can people pour from their cup to yours if you are cracking theirs in an attempt to fulfil yourself?
By the same token, why would you be handed something because you begged for it? Tried to convince people you were worthy of it? Begged for recognition?
You will know you’re entitled to it because when you’re ready for it, you will KNOW you will get it. You will KNOW without a shadow of a doubt, the nights you spent with gritted teeth, the nights you spent at war with your own spirit, the endless and tireless hours of work you put in to battle through the most challenging tests were not for nothing. They built you from the inside out. And you will know, that the person you have become from that pain will not let you down in achieving fulfilment. You will know it is yours and the fear will be gone, because you have already faced the “what if’s” that lie in the back of your mind and keep you awake.
It all boils down to proving to yourself that you will go out and get whatever the fuck it is you want, because you are doing it for yourself.
Until you reach that level, you will be challenged. But it is not in vain.
Why would you continue to bleed out for a person who is cutting you out of spite? Using you for their own worth? Not recognising the divinity in you.
Does your value justify the amount of pain you are doing to someone else?
Is the pain being inflicted on you worth the anxiety, emptiness, gut wrenching feeling that comes from trying to hang on to a person?
Remember who you are. Remember where you came from. Remember all the things that you can do.
There is power in recognising you are a shitty person. There is power in the nights you spend crying and breathless, being filled with such overwhelming emotion and force and awakening that you cannot avoid it and for that brief moment- you don’t know what to do with it.
There is power that I cannot show you, because the only way you will be able to see it is by getting through it and looking in hindsight.
I can only assure you, because I, and the people I am now meeting, have been there.
Everyone is different, but we all have potential. Do not deny yourself of belief, or become reluctant of your own power. That’s all we really have to protect ourselves with in this world. That’s all we have to do good with.
Do no harm, take no shit. There is no place left in your soul to be dealing with other people’s shit. Not anymore. There are bigger fish to fry than that of futile exchanges. Withdraw. Your energy will speak for itself.
The internet is a wonderful place. We spend our time watching the leaders and influencers and the winners of the world in awe. We are the ones giving them power by watching them.
Do something worth watching or watch something worth doing something about.
Then you will recognise the divinity in yourself.
No one will save you, you have to fill the cracks in your own soul.