My only intent when writing this is to bring forward a perspective on sex which some may be blind to and could really do with hearing. I often get a nudge to write about certain topics at certain times. I’ve been putting off writing about this because of my ego, but it’s time, so I’ve just gotta write what my gut tells me to write.
We are in an age of constant evolution and change, and as a result, sexual awakening has become confused and fuzzy.
After centuries of repression, sex is a big thing now. It’s talked about and it’s praised and it’s open. This is a good thing, we’re relating to each other- but just as this is a good thing it does have its shadows which need to be addressed as time goes on.
Listen, I haven’t spoken about this shit EVER before because I am not wanting to be called a prude, I don’t wanna be accused of slut shaming, I don’t wanna seem like I’m sat up on a pedestal judging people for their actions and denying people of pleasure. All I ever wanna do through my writing is be honest and help people who maybe aren’t seeing things for what they are.
What I see, when it comes to sex, is a nation which is confusing sexual liberation and revolution with hyper sexuality in somewhat of a frantic attempt to take our power back.
The topic of self worth needs to be talked about. The topic of self value needs to be talked about.
Sex and intimacy is so much associated with a persons power and value, whether you are male or female, because of the years of conditioning surrounding it.
When a person is intimate, there is an exchange of energy there. Just because you can’t see it doesn’t mean it isn’t there. It’s true and it’s undeniable.
There are people who don’t want to hear this because of the years of repression we have endured. “I can sleep with whoever I want!”, “it doesn’t have to mean anything!”. You are absolutely right. You can sleep with whoever you want, and no, it doesn’t have to mean anything. But there was an exchange of energy. It’s not just two bodies smashing against each other, it’s intimacy. The only difference between having meaningless sex and being intimate with a person and having it mean something is the awareness of your connection with the person. The awareness of the energy and the strength of the compatibility you have.
An exchange of energy, will ALWAYS have an effect on you.
When we have sex, we are susceptible to taking on other people’s energy.
People become hyper-sexual because we desire a connection without getting too deep and scary, to numb some kind of void which is felt inside. People say “it’s just fun” because yeah, it is just fun for however long it lasts until you crave it again. The reason people continually crave it is because they’re not having it right and you’re not being fulfilled. It’s like when food companies put certain addictive chemicals in food to keep you hooked, that is what’s happening to you. You’re not getting the right nutrition.
You need to get to the root of the desire to really have your needs met rather than just trying to fix it with surface level stuff. If you were having it right and being fulfilled, it wouldn’t be like this constant quest to have sex, it would be like “ah that’s nice” and there would be no pressure to do it again unless it just felt like the right moment. It would give a feeling of stability, safety, and security rather than a quick fix.
Often times, it takes an awakening of some sort to realise that hyper sexuality just leaves you feeling empty. This can be triggered by meeting a certain person, getting bored of being stuck in a cycle, or levelling up to the next stage of life. When this happens, which is happening to a big wave of people now (hence why I’m talking about it), purging of what is known as the sacral chakra will occur. Symptoms include flashbacks and memories which you see in a different light, overwhelming feelings of guilt, shame, regret, self depreciation and loathing.
It can also bring up a bunch of other stuff which seem completely unrelated, it can bring up childhood wounds, insecurities, feelings of restriction, creativity, restlessness, etc.
It is your body, and it is always your choice who you share your body with, and how you share it. Anybody who does not match you on your level, who does not resonate with you, who does not respect you, meet your needs (the same way you meet theirs), anybody who you wouldn’t want to be in the company of for anything other than sex, will not benefit you in any real way by you having sex with them. The exchange will drain the both of you of energy because it is lower vibrational.
What you permit, you promote. If you stay quiet about not wanting to sleep with someone, if you stay quiet about doing things you don’t want to do or stay quiet about your thoughts on sex in general for fear of sounding too open, you’re putting yourself secondary to somebody else. You always, unmistakably, come first.
Being careful with who you sleep with is not prude, nor is it denying yourself of pleasure, it’s actually the highest form of self respect. It’s keeping yourself clear of bullshit. Sex isn’t some kind of power tool it’s a really cool thing which can bring a lot of happiness, it’s not a tool of torment or something which must be kept to keep your worth in tact, and it’s not something which gives you ownership over someone else. It’s sharing. Being careful with who you share your energy with is the highest form of self respect, and that is sexual liberation.
You sleep with who you want when you want and you do whatever it is you want to do with your body. It is your body and it is always your choice. With consent, obviously. Just respect and honour yourself always- and remember that your past does not even define your present, let alone your future.