If you’ve had a tough past- particularly one full of abuse and mistreatment from a young age, as we get older there tends to be a pivotal moment where we begin to hold our own and recognise that we don’t have to live that way anymore.
With that surge of empowerment comes an overwhelming amount of anger. The root of anger is fear, which tells us that we are still scared and we feel trapped and we are frustrated that we have not experienced better than this yet. We may even find ourselves comparing our lives to that of others and being resentful at the world for landing us in such awful situations when we have done nothing to deserve it. We are resentful at those we have been raised by for either inflicting this upon us or allowing this to happen, we are resentful at those around us for not being there to help us.
You have every right to be angry, but what are you going to create with it.
Firstly, you must channel this anger into energy. Use this fire within you and direct it with all your might towards getting what you want. Create, take risks, go after things, learn and teach; whatever it is you feel you came here to do, whatever comes natural, do it.
When you’re in the flow of channelling your anger sometimes these feelings of ego may loop in your head and land you in an insufferable state of “I can’t believe they did this to me” further making you dwell in hatred and negative emotion. For your sake, you must escape this state. For your state and your state before anyone else’s. The longer you dwell in this energy, the longer you will feel trapped and helpless. The longer you feel trapped and helpless the more depressed you will become and when we are in this negative state we are blocking ourselves off entirely from receiving good.
In order to forgive and escape this state- we must understand a few things.
Firstly, ego has protected us for as long as we have had little understanding of the big picture. Ego is the reason we put walls up after being hurt, it serves us for a short period of time but when we’re trying to break a cycle, ego must be let go of. If we hold onto it for too long because this learned behaviour has helped us in the past, we will never be able to access the future we desire. Ego is the reason we have walls up that prevent us having actual good and meaningful relationships, it’s the reason we don’t go for the job we like when we may have a good chance in landing it. Ego only serves us for as long as it is needed.
Be brave enough to see the big picture. You’re in this state of “how could they do this to me” because you are not seeing the big picture.
Begin to see people as souls. At the very core, we are souls having a human experience. Detach from your feelings of being hard done by (despite you having every right to feel it) and instead shift your perception to “what am I learning from this? What is this person teaching me? How will I be better off because of this?”. With lots of pondering and the aid of meditation, you will become a bit more tranquillised. When you are connected to the version of you that is better off for suffering in this way, you may even become grateful for why you have felt such negative emotion and been through such awful experiences. This is the best state you can be in, because once you are grateful for what most would see as one of your “thirteen reasons why”, you have shifted into a complete alternate state where you are energised, motivated and receptive to receiving better.
When forgiving people I would usually tell you to get to the root of why others mistreat you, but if you have been abused, I’d tell you to focus on yourself rather than to focus on the abuser right now. Your main priority is yourself, growing, holding your own. All your energy now belongs to you. You have never experienced this before. Do not let your ego take this and distribute it to those who deserve it least.
The next concept for you to grasp in order to gain peace of mind is the idea of “soul contracts”.
As Einstein discovered, energy cannot be used up, only recycled. I have previously explained that we are nothing but energy. We are made up of liquids and gasses, and these elements give off a certain magnetism. We call energy “soul” when it is the core of a persons being.
As we incarnate, our soul is taken from a state of oneness with other energies and is implanted in our human body. When we are in this state of oneness, we make ‘contracts’ with other souls and choose our life stories in order to better ourselves and gain more knowledge, to test ourselves, so we can return to the state of oneness better for having experienced this human life.
In the state of oneness, we are love and we are loved by all. We make these contracts and we choose our experiences so we are both tested and rewarded in this human life. We pass the test by rising from the ashes and being better for having experienced the worst, we would fail by dwelling.
Those who seemingly get luck thrown at them from all angles are either reaping the blessings of a series of misfortunes they endured in past lives, or they are on a different level to you in this human experience. Not better, not worse, just different. Their path is none of your concern and it is ego that gets jealous, not soul. Live by your soul, always.
Focus on yourself, see only love, channel your anger into creating a beautiful life for yourself that you rightfully deserve. It was all just a test and you must pick yourself up in order to claim what you deserve. Pick yourself up and there will be so much freedom and beauty waiting for you.