I wrote a few months ago about how I tried a past life regression after years of taking an interest. I’ll link it below.
In the last few months I’ve strayed away from my spiritual brain a little bit more than usual as I’ve been trying to find my footing in what people call “the real world”. I’ve been working all the time, focussed on materialism, and survival.
Life is about balance. Living in the spiritual world too much causes material lack, and living in the real world too much causes depression and lack of perspective.
Living in the real world, and being unbalanced, manifested in me becoming incredibly stressed and watching my life fall apart ever so slightly.
The universe cornered me and forced me to spend a weekend solely by myself to heal, and I retreated back to my hippy dippy ways to try and find balance.
This time because I wasn’t trying, it came more naturally.
I’ve been receiving a lot of reiki, meditating, taking care of myself more. Consciously trying to connect.
I’ve been really stuck around the concept of money- specifically making money lately. I’ve recognised that like many, my mindset around money and the way I relate to it is detrimental to my income. I’m scared of money, I believe it’s something that’s hard to obtain and it equals survival. If you have no money, you’re fucked. You’re controlled. You belong to someone else.
Then, while I was in the shower, I realised that I’ve been completely ignoring any other aspect of my life because of this money thing.
I feel like I should be stable in a career or at least have a good source of income before I can have a romantic interest. I can’t take opportunities because I need to save. My next move revolves around money. I can’t just trust that money will come.
To me, that was smart. I’d rather not have to worry later on than act on every impulse and waste my dolla.
It did become a bit of a problem though. I do recognise that a money mindset is everything, and if I believe that money is hard to obtain then of course it will be. Not only that, but also where do I draw the line? When do I start living if I’m always hanging on?
As I was getting dressed and brushing my teeth I got a flashback to one of my past life regression attempts from months ago. I couldn’t make it out at the time, but something just clicked today.
In this past life, I was a woman coming from a family who was losing their financial well-being. I was deeply in love with a family friend and had been since I was young, and the feeling was mutual.
I know this person in this life too.
I’d always wanted to marry this guy and we were getting somewhere to make something of us, but all too soon my family made me marry somebody I didn’t know so that they could remain financially stable. I was basically sold off. I had children and acted like I was happy but I wasn’t, and I always really missed this man and wished that things had been different.
The guy I loved was really torn up about it too. I hated seeing him upset.
It was just mad to me how a memory I didn’t even know was worth paying attention to came to me like that. When I did this meditation a few months ago I didn’t know that I wasn’t just making up this shit. To be reminded of it and given such in depth detail about this story just blows my mind. It makes sense too.
I’ve always seemed to attract situations which render me lonely and force me to grow on my own. The life I have had so far in this life does kind of mirror that one.
I now feel that I have to be independent and make my own money so that I can be in love and be happy. That’s a fine thing to acknowledge. In this life, I am independent and I have been from a very young age. The thing with past lives is that the wounds you bare in them and the fear you collect doesn’t go away unless it’s acknowledged. I could have saved £1,000,000 and still wouldn’t have felt as though I could have true love because I would have been stuck in that belief system that it would run out eventually, and I would always be alone.
Likewise, I could have never had this love that I always wanted because I was stuck in the mindset of past life me- who felt like this guy was unavailable to her.
We reincarnate and we live out different lives so we can experience what we missed out on in past lives to restore karma. It’s worth paying attention to where your limiting beliefs are.
I just thought that was a cool thing to share. Always trust your healing and your guidance, because you never know what’s gonna pop into your brain and suddenly make everything click one day.
I’ll continue to work on my mindset when it comes to survival. God knows what kind of crap is buried in my soul.