lockdown thoughts

I’m really excited for the future because things are about to change for me very soon. I’m gonna be moving away and I’m gonna be free, learning more, being more sociable, having more fun and sharing more experiences. 

But for now I’m really angry all the time. And I have been for a very long time. 

I think it’s time I let that go.

But anger serves a purpose. It gives you motivation to get things done, it teaches you about yourself and what you feel passionately about.

When your anger is directed at the world, it teaches you your place in it.

In order for me to let go of my anger, I feel the need to share the reasons why I’m angry.

Because some of you are angry too, and you don’t know why. Your anger is directed at petty stuff, like your neighbour being all up in your business trying to judge you for the way you live your life. Or you think you’re angry at your boss for letting you go before lockdown.

But really you’re not angry at that. You’re angry at why people are like that.

In life you don’t grow out of growing. We are meant to constantly be growing. 

And in this chapter of life on earth- we are meant to be learning to think freely. For ourselves.

We are learning to think for the purpose of creating a more progressive world.

A lot of people survive believing anything the TV tells them.

But as someone who has studied this for a long time, and is about to do a degree in journalism; the news and the media is filtered down to us so that we act as puppets.

Billionaires control anyone who doesn’t question what they are told.

I’m not judging people who don’t question what they are told.

I cant judge you for what you have learned to do because it’s likely that your obedience and reasons for listening to the media comes from the way you were trained as a child.

But you’re grown now, and I’m here to tell you why not to do that.

Billionaires choose what they put in front of us. Not just now. I’m talking about all the time. 

People may think that their viewing of loose women, or their blind trust of the news is harmless. But it’s something that I feel very passionate about. I’m angry because it starts off as you watching loose women, and the narrative that they air (which is judgemental, uneducated and harmfully biased) is normalised, which results in people spreading that negativity around.

It results in people living a life aligned with outdated, classist, racist narratives that are so normal they aren’t questioned or seen.

And these people who are actually kind hearted with good intent (underneath it all) have become so comfortable in that narrative that they don’t think about the people who suffer because they can float comfortably in their privilege. 

They don’t think about the racism people of colour face on the daily in this country simply because of subtle antagonistic language used on the TV.

They don’t think about how classist values affect homeless people who are on the street because the care system kicked them out age 18 and now they have nowhere to go.

I’m angry at their lack of compassion and their dismissal of anything that they don’t “enjoy” hearing.

And I’m angry because I have spent a lot of my life belittled and told to shut up because I care about people and I want the best for them.

I didn’t come here to judge, I came here to learn and teach how we may create a more loving world. 

Moving on to my second point about control.

Captain Tom Moore (in his late 90s) walked 100 laps around his garden to raise millions from the NHS. Wearing his old war uniform. 

We didn’t just let him, we encouraged him.

The intent was spot on.

But we’re missing the point.

There are 54 billionaires in the UK alone. 

1 million is more than enough to set you up for life- with excess. 

1 billion is that x 1000. 

That is the type of wealth that nobody just “earns” through hard work. 

That’s the type of wealth that nobody needs. 

THAT is the type of wealth whereby if you have it it’s your duty to redistribute it.

Many of you will never in your life become billionaires, so I promise you do not have to defend these people. They’re doing just fine benefitting from your lack of free thought.

There are 54 billionaires. On this tiny island. 

Who could literally end homelessness (as we have seen during this pandemic). Who could fund the NHS. Who could do unimaginable things with their wealth.

But they don’t. They haven’t.

The working class, who have been proven to work the hardest- have been cheated out of a world where things are distributed more evenly because the billionaires have manipulated the media.

We have all played our part in this.

And we let an elderly man do that, raising money that was manipulated out of the working class pocket- to feed into the NHS which is by definition “not a charity”. 

He was wearing his war uniform too. 

A concept I will always find strange. 

World war 2 happened a very long time ago and England clings to it for dear life. 

But the history books don’t tell you that Winston Churchill had concentration camps of his own set up in Africa. 

Our history is nothing to be proud of. But again, the media will never tell you that because thats their weakness.

Having people question them.



Churchill himself was just another in a long line of wealthy puppeteers who was able to manipulate people like you and I into feeling like he was some sort of respectable man. 

Gary Barlow (£20m tax avoidance) and Andrew Lloyd Webber (£6m tax avoidance) were on BBC1 big night in telling the public they had to donate in these “unprecedented” times. 


Im angry because I’m lying down facts and evidence only for people to ignore it. 

I’m angry because nothing on TV- no news forms, no “debates” on morning television- NOTHING has validity.

It all just contradicts each other and breeds hysteria.

Everything allowed to air is timed and directed at a certain age group to create an emotional reaction. To CONTROL you.  

I’m angry because you lot don’t see anything wrong with this. 

You don’t care that you’re being controlled. 

You don’t see the suffering your lack of free thought causes to student nurses, children in care who are underfunded, disabled orphans who are put in mental institutions when they come of age and have no one to care for them. 

“I can’t see it so it simply must not exist!”

I am not angry that you’re not aware of the injustice going on in the world, I am angry because you deny it to prevent feelings of guilt.

You are not bad people. You are kind hearted people, for the most part. But when your kind intentions are not used effectively, it really hurts more people than you can help.

You might have donated to the NHS but you also might have voted tory which influenced a more racist narrative in the UK and caused the nurse who treated you in hospital to live in debt despite working everyday.

I am angry because we are lucky enough to live in an age where we can restructure the world, live more freely- live more lovingly, and people won’t do it because it feels “uncomfortable”. 

I don’t know how people ARENT angry about this. 

Or at least rebellious. 

Can’t you see how they’re controlling you for no reason?

And can’t you see that by looking out and taking notes on who down your street is “clapping” for the NHS and who isn’t- you’re acting as a puppet for these billionaires?

By focussing on your neighbours business,  judging them with your inner narrative of what they SHOULD be doing (cos loose women told you what they should be doing) you’re living a life of restriction and hatred? 

Can’t you see how pointless it all is?

If you choose to have the facts presented to you and live in ignorance- then I do wish you suffering but not for the sake of revenge. I wish it on you only because I hope it will humble you, crack open your compassion, and know what it is like to be in need and to only have love. 

I don’t want to be angry anymore. So from now I’m gonna concentrate on how I can lead by example and trust that the world will take care of itself. 

When I am truly happy and I don’t identify with this angry ‘stuck’ 21 year old persona anymore- people will look at me and wonder how I came to be so at peace.

And I will tell them how they can change their life, and the world by leading by example.

But for now I need to explain my anger to you so you understand and have knowledge about all that you’re unaware of. 

Anger is the uncomfortable beginning of change. It doesn’t last, but it frees you up. It can tell you what you need to do next.

There is a wide range of possible experiences you can have on this planet.

We can have a better world but the creation of it requires you to question things. 

It will come effortlessly as long as some of you just think a little more.

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