I am quite obviously not a subtle person.
If I’m going through it, people are gonna be knowing about it.
Once I’ve worked through the crippling sadness, it’s actually quite funny in retrospect.
Maybe you’re not in a place to be looking at the funny side right now, and that’s cool, it takes time.
Maybe you just need to read this.
I wrote a post about detours. Life throwing you a curveball. Maybe the detour is heartbreak, or a job falling through, a change in circumstance that’s pretty sudden that flings you into a pit of depression.
As much as you think you’re angry at a circumstance, with enough soul searching, you will find that you’re not actually that sad about what happened on surface level.
You’re sad because you were comfortable, and now you’re not.
You kinda planned out your life for the foreseeable future and it was happy. It made sense, so for a moment, you felt happy. It was comfortable.
Now, you’re faced with the reality that you actually don’t have a clue what’s going on, and the only thing you’re living in is the present moment.
It’s so important to let go of what you think the future will look like. Stop trying to control it.
The challenge in all of this is to be happy without attaching your happiness to a certain outcome.
It is possible.
I’ve been educating myself a lot lately. Listening to a lot of podcasts, reading, just generally observing life.
I watched Eat, Pray, Love. I’ve been listening to Gary Vee, David Goggings, My Dad.
It’s really been making me re-evaluate what I want.
I’ve been looking at what other people find ‘comfortable’ and seeing it as a real trap that scares me to death. I’ve been looking at people who tried to be comfortable and had it all fall apart. I’ve been seeing the patterns and connecting the dots.
While you can be resentful at the fact that things are uncertain, could you really have it any other way?
Could you live like that, without a detour, for the rest of your life?
So I will say it again, you are not angry at the circumstance, you are unsettled because it shocked you. Your emotions are a valid reaction but they’re something that can be worked through.
This is an opportunity for growth. This is an opportunity to turn things around.
Ellen DeGeneres began her career because her girlfriend died, she lived in a gross apartment with no money, and she got a case of the fuck it’s because she didn’t know what else to do.
Do you have any idea how many stories there are like that?
The only thing you need to be strong and prosperous is integrity.
I’ve come to the conclusion, that nobody ever really has a fucking clue, and when people try to control the fact that they don’t have a clue, things go wrong.
People run into relationships that are just a distraction, people sedate themselves with drugs, they do it all simply because they don’t know how to stand up for what they want and go after it.
People don’t know how to cease that moment of discomfort.
Uncertainty is uncomfortable. We are all running from being uncomfortable, we’re all wanting to have it planned out because although mediocracy isn’t what we want, it’s what we go after thinking it will make us happy. It usually doesn’t.
In your 20s, you have lived about 1/6th of your life. We’re gonna live longer than we think we are, the world is changing and so is technology. There is absolutely no way that you can know you’ll be happy in a relationship for all that time, or that you’ll be happy in the same place, or that you’ll be in the same line of work.
What we want changes.
Uncertainty makes us untouchable.
I was listening to David Goggings after my Dad told me about him, the guy’s nuts but he’s incredible.
His story is basically full of discomfort. He comes from a background full of abuse, racism, depression. He was a Navy Seal. I won’t go too much in to detail, if you wanna know, you’ll look it up.
One day, his brother got a call to say that his daughter had been shot.
David Goggings’ whole ‘manifesto’ is to be prepared to deal with uncertainty.
He pushes himself to the limit in his mind and body so that he builds resilience.
He ran 200 miles with a broken ankle because he wanted to build resilience in his mind. He did 3 Navy Seal Hell week’s where people literally dropped dead from pushing their body so much, because he wanted to find enlightenment.
He’s retired from that jazz now, but he went through a stage of testing himself to an extreme so he could learn to cope. So that he knows if he ever gets that sudden call to say that his Mum has died, or that something life changing has happened, he can deal with it. Mentally, emotionally, spiritually.
He breaks himself down to make himself strong.
I’m not saying you have to do that or go to any extremes.
I’m just saying, there are people in life who seek out discomfort because knowing that they can get through anything is what makes them happy.
That’s the goal at the end of the day.
To be happy in the face of anything.
So stop trying to run from the discomfort, go out on a whim and do something a bit ballsy.
Be strong. Strong enough to come out of this.
The good thing about not having it all planned out is that we are entirely free to do what we like.
I’m gonna travel. See how doing the things that are outside my comfort zone is gonna change my life. Do a little eat, pray love. What are you gonna do?