having a higher capacity to love

I recently wrote about empaths.

In that piece I explained what they were, why they feel so much, and how to use being an empath as a gift.

There’s more to say.

Empaths can go one of two ways.

They can either become conscious and use what they feel to help others, or they can become so overwhelmed that they are consumed by their emotions and create inner chaos.

It’s really understandable to become overwhelmed and I think the reason people do end up shutting down is because we aren’t taught how to regulate and process our emotions.

I’ve created something called the ‘ego-knock worksheet’ which will be available on my Patreon when I get set up.

It’s not necessarily ‘reserved’ for empaths but it surrounds the topic of regulating your emotions. It’s something you work through when in a state of shock following an argument/ finding out something that has hurt you. The purpose is to calm you down, help you process what you are feeling, and help you figure out what your best (most effective) response would be.

I say this because empaths have something that can feel like a massive ailment. The ability to love unconditionally from a place of complete purity.

When you feel very deeply, and you know what it means to operate from a place of complete love- when people do you wrong it can be a massive hit just because you know that you would never cause such pain to another person.

You know how you would handle things.

And while constantly trying to not develop some kind of superiority complex it becomes obvious that some people just don’t deserve you.

So there’s this tug and war in your head of ‘I love you to the point where I understand why you did that’ and ‘if you did me like that despite me loving you the way I do, you don’t deserve me’.

It’s even harder when people don’t even try to fix it. When their response is to gaslight you, defend themselves, proceed as normal.

Some things aren’t yours to fix.

And being an empath, you feel the loss of whoever did you wrong. It could create a cycle where you keep going back to situations that hurt you because you don’t know what else to do.

But to move on and reach our potential, the whole point is to end patterns and stop hamster wheeling your way through life. If you feel a lot, you are destined for greatness.

So I’m writing this to try and let empaths who have felt a lot of pain know that it only hurts if you dwell on it.

Love is unconditional, which means you can love somebody despite not being able to have them in your life.

Self-respect and unconditional love are two separate things.

You are allowed to have boundaries to preserve yourself from feeling like your heart is ripped open all the time, and you can continue to love someone regardless of whether it is reciprocated.

Love is not something that can be forced, it’s something that you feel- and in society there are a lot of unspoken contracts about what ‘love’ is which can end in you being confused and hurt.

Love does not give away your power, the things you do to try and prove your love and show that you are worthy is what gives away your power.

You can have the unconditional love to know that the people who did you wrong don’t know any better. They cannot love you anymore than they are evolved to love, they can’t see the good in you if they aren’t ready to see it. It seems like such a personal thing but I promise that it’s not- you are a vessel for a pure kind of love which can be intimidating to people who don’t know how to have that.

There are MILLIONS of people who will love that, and there are friends and connections that you will pull in to your life who will be so drawn to, appreciative and loving of you because of exactly who you are. When you realise that you are loveable and you understand that you don’t have to chase love to receive it, you won’t be hurt by people not appreciating you anymore. Even if they’re family and society makes rules that they ‘should’ be there and ‘should’ love you. Sometimes they just don’t, because they don’t know any better. And pre-incarnation, you would have chosen for that to be the case. Likely so that you could learn a lot of lessons and put a mark on this world with your own evolution.

So if you no longer want to align yourself with disrespect and a low vibe, don’t. It doesn’t mean you don’t love someone, it means that you love them and you love yourself.

Sometimes removing yourself from a persons life who continues to hurt you is the most loving thing you can do. If things are meant to repair, they will by nature.

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