‘but did he cheat on me though’

Being ‘spiritually’ inclined and having very energetic people in my life, trying to get sympathy can be a challenge.

If I were to go to the Shaman and I say ‘I feel like my heart is at the pit of my stomach, I can’t breathe, and all I can do is cry’ she would say ‘that’s good’.

I wanted to write this because I was watching someone who I’ve followed for a long time speak on a livestream and she was firing out words of pure wisdom. She was once a ‘twin flame’ (trauma bond) reader and now she’s a shamanic apprentice. I think.

She was speaking such sense and having followed her for a long time I could see the growth and wisdom in her, but she was met with the same questions of ‘did he cheat on me? Please I need to know did he cheat on me?’ and ‘Should I give up on this person?’ and ‘Does he love me back?’.

It was just two completely different vibes.

The chat was filled with desperation, and I could see her getting frustrated.

What was going on in this livestream would have been a massive trigger for her, ‘spiritual’ or not she’s still a human. Dealing with people throwing emotional grabby hands at me like that would have me all kinds of pissed off.

She was trying to pull them out of the other side, and while she’s giving the real answers to these people’s problems- she’s not heard. People insist that they want to know the truth but they’re unaware that they’re actually asking to be fed bullshit. And it’s not because they’re any less ‘enlightened’, it’s just because they aren’t ready yet. They haven’t reached breaking point.

She will say ‘You’re not really sad about him you’re sad because you don’t feel like you would ever be loved so what we need to do is focus on getting rid of that programming in you’, and they will say ‘but will we ever be together though’.

There’s no quick way around that stuff because it’s deeper than ‘will we be together though’.

There is nothing worse than understanding where a person is coming from and yet not being able to help them.

If you feel like your heart is at the pit of your stomach, and you can’t breathe, and all you can do is frantically ask a shamanic apprentice on youtube ‘did he cheat on me?’- good. 

You’re on the way to a breakthrough. With enough emotional turmoil and desire to never experience this type of trauma again- you will realise that it doesn’t even matter.

You will realise that all of the shit you’ve been through was just pointing out the parts of you and your relationship with yourself that you get to heal.

Because it’s only when you reach the point of being so shook you have to be still that you’re going to be able to listen.

There’s a lot of wisdom in knowing how to respond to that overwhelming emotion, but that emotion is all in vain if you don’t use it to your advantage.

You don’t need to know ‘did he cheat on me’, because it doesn’t matter. You don’t need to know ‘will we be together’ because it doesn’t matter- and having this ‘spiritual’ person tell you either ‘yes they did’ or ‘no they didn’t’ will not calm that emotion within you because funnily enough, that’s not the answer you’re looking for. You’ll be in the same position in two weeks.

Is that person on your doorstep, showing up for you, telling you with their own words ‘I want to be with you as much as I can. You mean a lot to me.’ And are their actions matching those words?

If they aren’t there, then just assume they don’t care.

If you were at peace with yourself, you literally would not care that they don’t care.

If you were at peace with yourself you probably wouldn’t have even become so laser focussed on a person who doesn’t care.

You are searching for the answer to a soul wound in another person and you’ll continue to do that until you’re really at peace with yourself and you don’t worry about who your next lover will be anymore.

Your focus will be more on making yourself happy and choosing people as they come to you. You’ll consider what you value in a person, how you want to feel and what you want out of it as opposed to who they are.

So the core thing is, you don’t feel loveable, and you don’t feel like you’re enough.

That is why this desperation has entered your life.

For as long as you keep your attention on this person, and how badly you want them- you are affirming to yourself that ‘I am not enough’.

For as long as you insist that this person is the answer and this relationship is the answer and they are all you need, you’re denying yourself the chance to be whole.

And being whole is what you want. Honestly, it’s euphoric.

Once you’ve healed that, and you’re okay with you, and you’re excited about life and all the good things it will bring you, there will be none of this ‘begging’ sort of energy. None of the superficiality, none of the jealousy, nothing like that. Just pure bliss.

The pain isn’t a punishment, it’s just the lead up to a breakthrough.
Take all the time you need, and remind yourself everyday that you are enough.

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