being honest about creativity and spirituality

Hey fellas, I’m here to spread my pearls of wisdom once more.

I’ve been working, as you have probably seen by the copious amounts of blogs, Instagram lives, paintings and youtube videos. I’ve had so much creative juice that I’ve just had to get it all out.

I love being creative, it’s the funnest thing. It’s such a blessing to just walk about life following your childlike curiosity and finding inspiration in things, there’s so many ideas to be had! And the excitement of when you get an idea. It is chefs kiss. I love it.

In one of my Instagram lives (lessons from 20th July) I was speaking about how I practice intuitive walks, where I wake up, let my body decide what it wants to do and then just blindly follow all of it’s impulses. This has led me to art fairs, friends, free stuff, all sorts. Strongly recommend.

Creativity hasn’t always flowed to me this way, because I’ve felt like it couldn’t.

When I was working in an office I was really scared about money, aware of my lack of mobility because I had no car, and I was so scared of being lonely that I filled up all my time. Then I was surprised when I couldn’t be creative. If I had a creative impulse, I’d talk myself out of it. I’d go, yeah well its gonna be a faff to get the bus and I might regret putting the effort in. Or I’d say, yeah well then I’d have to get all the paints out and put them away and it’s late.

Remember that creativity is not just the act of creating, it is the ability to follow your nudges.

Recently had an epiphany. I’m so excited to get to share this with you.

When people recognise themselves as creative, it is confusing. Humans love security to the point where we choose to make our lives boring because of how scared we are without it. Creativity requires openness. A lack of certainty.

Ideas pass through you, you create them, and then they’re gone and you’re empty for a while.

When things are empty, even just for a second, adults panic and desperately try to fill that hole straight away.

We do all the things that we’ve been told we are ‘supposed to do’ and end up making ourselves sick, burnt out, tired, feeling like a failure.

The most creative people on earth are children. So lets learn from them.

Children don’t care about emptiness because their brains are pure enough and fearless enough to know there is always a new impulse to follow.

It is natural for adults to lose this fearlessness, because we have experienced loss and judgement. But if you look back to all the times you lost out as a result of ‘creativity’, I will bet that what you created was made while you were fearful, untrusting of yourself, or unloving towards yourself.

When you create just for the sake of honouring the gift of inspiration you are given, it usually pays off in one way or another. Most importantly, the inner child in you is having fun and feeling safe.

When the inner child feels safe, we do not need certainty. In fact, we don’t want it that much.

Spirituality is creativity. That’s the truth. Please let me explain.

I may be a tarot reader and a ‘spiritual person’- but I couldn’t tell you what spirituality was until last week.

I’m mates with a Shaman, my youtube feed is full of astrology and intuitives- couldn’t tell you what I was or what my beliefs were.

I took my ex to meet the Shaman a few months before we split, and a few months later he expressed to me that he thought I was being manipulated into believing that some people were more powerful than others. He referred to the Shaman as a wizard, and said he doesn’t believe in it.

Now when he said that, I found it funny. Genuinely. I understand why he thinks that way, but I see it so differently. I was thinking about how I took this poor guy to see the most eccentric person I know with no context and I just assumed he would know what she was on about. That’s my bad, but that is funny. Bless him.

There was a part of me that was sad though. You spiritual people are gonna wanna listen to this cos I’m about to make your brains explode.

I explained to him that spirituality is not being more powerful that someone else. It’s not about having super powers that other people are incapable of achieving, it’s not other worldly and its not fantasy. When you explain spirituality honestly it actually sounds incredibly boring.

Spirituality is literally just the act of being willing to explore all possible options and ways of being in life. It’s the pursuit of knowledge. It’s growing your perspective.

That’s literally it.

The fact that someone has labelled themselves a Shaman means nothing in terms of status, but the label is just used to give other people an understanding of what they’re about. There’s no hierarchy in spirituality. Just people with more knowledge.

I felt unheard and unseen though because I was not open about what spirituality is, and I’m gonna own up to something now.

My relationship with spirituality/ tarot has changed.

4 years ago when I started up my business I was into healing and helping people, but I used tarot as a desperate plea for certainty. I wanted to know things, know what was going through other people’s heads.

You may think that knowing other people’s business is power but it’s the furthest thing from it. I can’t think of anything more disempowering than allowing another person’s thoughts, feelings and actions to control your life and mental state.

So naturally, when I began offering readings I attracted clients who felt disempowered and didn’t care about growing, focussing on themselves, becoming a better them or taking advice. I got so sick of reading tarot because I didn’t want the aggro. I didn’t want to disempower people. Tarot is meant to be used on the self for empowerment, growth, betterment and your own wellbeing, but it isn’t used for that anymore.

‘Psychic’ means having perspective. Noticing patterns in the present and being open to see the possible options of how something might play out- using the things you are observing now.

It does not make one person any different to the next.

When wounded, when I feel unheard or unseen, I can have a tendency to want to crush people. I was bullied so I respond very strongly to feeling belittled. And when people underestimate me or try to keep me small, if it hurts really bad, I will try and prove myself by using the fact that I am ‘psychic’ against them. That’s so dumb guys no offence. Everyone can be psychic. I’m admitting to it so I don’t have to do that weirdo behaviour again.

Anyways, based on the way that I was portraying myself as a ‘spiritual figure’ and hiding away my openness, I understand why he thought that a shaman was like a wizard, who could shoot lazers out of their hands or turn people to stone.

I’m excited to have learned this because imagine all the things I can do with work now.

If you want someone who will read tarot and be able to tell you what to do, or offer perspective- then I’m your girl. But I wont tell you about other people’s business.

I’ve emptied the tank and I get to fill it up again with new stuff. Woohoo!!

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