Being independent and strong does not mean being entirely self sufficient, entirely in your own bubble, or constantly prepared for when the next person fucks you over. In fact, this makes you the opposite of strong. This makes you fragile, afraid and hinders your ability to live your life. You’re carrying a whole load of unnecessary burdens and expectations and distrust of the world on your back, and what for? It doesn’t protect you from anything, it doesn’t get anything done, in fact- if anything it just attracts more shitty scenarios to you or turns you into the toxic person.
We’re always being fed movies and stories whereby some cool, distant, mysterious stranger with a damaged past is the most sexy and cool character of them all who has people falling at their feet- but they don’t want them. We all look at them and probably at one point think “wow, I wanna be just like that pretentious cool guy” because we want that kind of ability to call the shots. Only when we begin to mimic this behaviour, everything you touch turns to shit, and you realise that you’re fading into nothing. You’re not cool or distant or mysterious, you’re an arsehole. The cool and distant, mysterious people in real life, are lonely and boring and rarely amount to anything. They don’t really get to have any real connections, because they’re too busy trying to be this fucking character in a show. Everything’s passing them by. These fuckin cool guys, are only the focal point in movies because it’s a prime opportunity to use them to unfold a storyline. In real life, there is no storyline until hindsight allows you to see it. Nobody is gonna see your character development, nor take an interest if at some point you don’t pick yourself up and begin to turn shit around. You can’t live in a pit of crap forever.
Being independent means having a balance between knowing what to do, which direction you’re headed in, and knowing that it is your job to stick to the plan. Your job, is to carry your heart and pure intentions and general kindness and goodness along with integrity as you make your way in walking this path. In order to get what you want, you’re gonna have to do everything that scares you- whatever that may be. You’re gonna have to form connections, you’re gonna have to trust. You’re gonna have to wear your heart on your sleeve and talk about things and make it work because THAT is what a strong and independent person will do. If they get rejected, they can handle it, because when you live from the heart you know that even when rejection and things not working to plan stings like a bitch, it’s for the best. If it’s not in alignment with your heart, it will pass you by, and that’s a blessing because anything that doesn’t work for you will only weigh you down. An independent person will know that everything around them, everything that happens to them does not in any way, shape or form negate the value of their own being. It’s not personal. If you have healed, and if you have self awareness, you’re good.
Making things difficult for yourself by operating based off of fear, shutting yourself off, never asking for help, never fucking hugging your loved ones, is only ever gonna make you weaker. You can pride yourself off of being able to drag yourself through the days with a weight on your chest that you just can’t budge, but for what?? You put it there. You put it there and now you want a medal for choosing to live with it? Stop telling yourself it’s strong, because it’s not. It’s easy. What comes easy isn’t worth having.
You are here for a reason and you know it, I don’t care if you don’t know what it is or what to do with it but the fact that you have a reason to be here is enough in its own to be able to turn around and learn what it means to be strong and how to apply it to your daily life.
Once a terrible person, not always a terrible person. Not if you choose to turn it around. You get to choose to change and then you can let your colours shine through to other people. You don’t have to prove yourself when you’re good, you just have to be. It’s always your choice, every second we get to make a decision to turn things around. You can only ever make that choice for yourself, you can choose to be a good person. The world will see that you’re a better person and will be a happier place for it, but if you choose to sink then the person you’re really affecting negatively is yourself.
It’s 2am, I can’t sleep, and somebody needed to hear this message. I don’t know who, all I know is that somebody has to start talking about this bullshit way of living and saying it as it is. Somebody has got to say something.