20 lessons for 20 years

I have now completed 20 whole orbits around the sun. I’ve reached level 20. A whole new world. Or at least I will have on the 17th.

I made an agreement with myself that for every week that I am 20 years old, I will do something that’s outside of my comfort zone. That’s 52 things as of Wednesday. I’m curious to see how it might change my life. I can’t wait to write about it all. I start off with a scary London interview, pole dancing lessons, training to take me down a different career route, and life modelling.

As I enter level 20, I wanted to share some things I learned this last year, so here are 20 lessons I learned for 20 years of living.

1.      You cannot force, rush, or control life in any way. Sometimes things suck, and there’s nothing you can do about it in that moment. You may have to sit with it, but you don’t have to suffer.

2.      If you can forgive someone you love, there is no reason why you can’t forgive those that you dislike or don’t know. At the end of the day, it’s not about the other people, it’s about how you feel when you go to bed at night.

3.      ALWAYS. ALWAYS. ALWAYS. Put yourself first. Do it while you can, before you have children to look after. When you wake up, connect with yourself before infusing your brain with social media and the opinions of others. Get to grips with caring for yourself before imposing yourself on someone else or allowing yourself to be negatively influenced.

4.      Let people be stupid. Let them be exactly as they are. If your words don’t make them think differently, they were never meant to.

5.      Temptation can be a tricky thing to learn how to navigate. We think, I’ll be better if I just indulge in bitching about this person. I’ll be better if I just drink this once and then I won’t do it again. The only thing you’re ‘indulging’ in is the pain of giving it up again. We’re better off getting to the root of why we think that we’re going to feel better if we bitch about someone or have a drink, because it will always harm us just as much, if not more, than it harms other people.

6.      It is so much better to lead an authentic life than it is to try and fit in.

7.      Your family give you everything they have regardless of how they might have done you wrong or caused you hurt. They’re just people. They love you in their own way regardless of whether you choose to see/ make peace with that or not. Stop blaming them.

8.      Don’t lose yourself in your career. You drive your career, it does not exist separately to you. Money is a valuable thing, it’s hard to give up, so it’s important to love the ways you earn it. Don’t forget that you’re in control.

9.      Read. Make time to read. Leave your arrogance at the door, you cannot learn all there is to know from the internet. Learn to love reading. Learn to love connecting with yourself.

10.   You have your truth, and other people have their truth. We are all allowed our own truths. We’re all here for our own reasons to learn our own lessons. Respect each other’s differences, the world would be so boring if we were all the same.

11.   True love will turn your world upside down and it will transform you. That’s beautiful. Always keep the faith.

12.   Be curious, the only way you seem stupid is when you insist that you know it all.

13.   It is not dumb to spend money. It is okay to love money. Be wise.

14.   If you feel a strong attraction or pull to something, it’s probably because that’s what you’re meant to be focussing on right now. Go down ‘the path of least resistance’.

15.   If you get into the swing of working out/eating well every day, you’ll never want to stop. Nothing tastes as good as healthy feels, even if you do have the odd piece of cake. Also, yoga is wonderful.

16.   If you really want to become good at something, do it for 20 hours before you decide that it was stupid of you to try, and give up. 20 hours is the frustration barrier.

17.   You can’t take on the whole world at once. Do things because you want to, not because you want to check it off the list.

18.   The cure for a broken heart is to do something good for someone else. Be kind whenever you can.

19.   You will stray away from your knowledge and enlightenment and ‘chill’, you will lose your temper and feel lost. You’re only human. As long as you find yourself again, its okay. That’s what we do. We’re learning.

20.   Be open to all that might happen in the future but remember that the only thing that’s real is the present moment.

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